The past, is the past, is the past.

The past is just that... past. But sometimes, revisiting some of those lessons refreshes in our minds that we have overcome things, that we have learned life lessons, and that we should pay attention to our PRESENT so that we do not keep repeating those lessons. 

Following is a poem I wrote 10 years ago. I was divorced, pretending that life was great and that the future was bright. I was sleep-walking through my days, trying to remain busy, trying to convince myself that the decision to end my marriage was a good one. In the end, the loss was a lot greater than even I knew at the time. I did not mourn the end of that time until over 1 year later. Then, it just seemed to hit me out of the blue. It took a few days for me to even realize WHY I was so sad. 

Effective use of Twitter to promote business

I follow an Independent Travel Writer on Twitter. Her name is Terri Marshall and her Twitter handle is @trippingwterri. I follow her to read about all her travels and because I would love to live that kind of life. She posts regularly and has a huge following of over 5,000. She not only posts about her travels but will sometimes include links to the articles that are published with her writing. The types of messages she posts are informative, but also personal as she includes information about her grandchildren and her home life.

In my college class textbook, Social Corp, it talks about using social media to reach the right people. Specifically, it states that “reaching the right people means being prepared to engage in conversations where people ‘live’ on the web” (Ch 5). I feel that she uses Twitter effectively and has built a reputable brand for herself which not only helps her to obtain new writing assignments but also informs people, like me, that would love to write about traveling. I have learned so much about the places that she visits. She would not need to use Twitter to “change” any of her brandings, but if she needed to, she could focus on specific types of writing assignments in order to gain more job offers about that specific type of assignment. In other words, she can “steer” the attention towards the types of jobs that she would be most interested in pursuing. 

She is also NOT afraid to call out businesses that have done her wrong and I feel she has had success with overcoming billing errors and bad service with her use of Twitter. If anyone is interested in traveling or in travel writing, I would suggest you take a look at her Tweets.

Netflix has you covered...from head... to TOE!

You wouldn’t think Netflix, the world’s leading internet entertainment service would need to even use social media to be relevant, but this streaming giant doesn’t just stream; they tweet, hashtag, bump, lurk, troll, RT, & DM. In fact, they host 19 Facebook pages, have 20 Twitter handles, 18 Instagram accounts, and 17 YouTube channels! (Unmetric, n.d.) Unmetric says that “Netflix and chill” have now become an inescapable part of pop culture” and there isn’t a young person today that has not heard that term. Netflix even has a TUMBLR account for the older web surfers that are still using that platform.

I would say that Netflix is “at the top of their game” when it comes to effective use of their many social media channels and not much could be improved upon. An overview of Netflix’s metrics can be found on the Unmetric site here: https://unmetric.com/brands/netflix

One great example of how good Netflix is at social media marketing; The Netflix Sock Project! Netflix thought up a campaign that would help the TV watcher to control their shows in a unique way. The project consisted of an innovative DIY project involving socks, various electronics, a YouTube video and a website with published instructions. Without any paid advertising the campaign went viral and got over a billion media impressions. The campaign received hundreds of mentions in various press outlets and was even mentioned on Good Morning America!

References:

http://makeit.netflix.com/projects/socks

https://www.jocelynmccanles.work/music

Unmetric. A deep dive into the social media habits and performance of Netflix.  Retrieved from https://unmetric.com/brands/netflix

Does Regularly Mean Every Day?

I am taking a class online at Walden University called Communicating Through Media and Technology. Since I have been in the marketing field for many years, developed a couple of web pages, and used past and current technology on a regular basis, I was given the choice to replace this class with what is called a “Learning Portfolio”. I am also taking a grueling Algebra class through home study and since Math is not my strong suit, I really need to put more effort into passing that class. So, I wanted a “familiar topic” class to take concurrently with Algebra.

I created this blog page about 15 years ago, but I have not been posting regularly at all. According to Safko (2012), posting often will give your blog more visibility and increase the chances of your readers returning to your page. I would say that I normally use my Facebook page as a mini-blog and I do regularly post there, though not in paragraphs, per se. Memes and images of my new puppy have populated my profile, as of late, but a few years ago, Facebook had a tab called “Notes”, and I did write and publish there on occasion. 

One persons’ definition of regularly would be daily but another’s interpretation could be to post bi-weekly. How about you? If you currently have a blog, do you find that you post more on your social media than you do on your blog? What does “regularly” mean to you?

 Reference: Safko, L. (2012). The social media bible: Tactics, tools, and strategies for business success (3rd ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.

Islands in the Sea

We are all like islands.  We inhabit these little islands that we call our lives and we drift along…  in the waves of the sea of life. And sometimes we see someone… someone who might lend a hand. Someone who we admire, someone who we like... and we think… maybe… maybe they can save us… maybe together, we can be free… BUT….

We have this struggle inside our minds... even subconsciously.

• What if that person can hurt me?
• What if they mean me harm?
• What if I can do better?
• What if the next person to come along is better suited to help me?
• What if I am too broken and he doesn’t love me?
• If I depend on his acceptance and love and it doesn’t happen…then what?
• What if HE falls in love with me and I can't love him back?
• What if I fail him?
• What if I cannot make him happy?
• What if the person he sees in me… is something I cannot be?

So on our little island, we may be alone… but we have been okay. We have been surviving. If we reach out our hand… invite someone else to our island, then we risk upsetting the balance. We risk harm, hurt, heartbreak, disappointment… and so we stay on our little deserted islands… looking out at the passing world, wondering if we will ever be ‘saved’ and wishing it so… but yet unwilling or unable to reach out our hand in order TO BE saved.

...Still searching for my "Happy Place"

When I was in therapy years ago, the therapist wanted me to envision my "Happy Place" in my mind. A place where I felt content and safe. A place that I could go to when feeling bad, stressed, scared, or injured. And even though I feel I have a creative mind... this was a very difficult task for me. I could visualize a beach scene... a forest setting with a river running through it... a field of wildflowers gently swaying in the breeze... Lots of images of serene scenery where contentedness could be visually felt.  But I could not find the "happy"... the "content" in the context of my own experiences so found it difficult to create a "Happy Place" that felt real enough, reachable enough, for me to feel safe there.

I recently glossed over my 45th birthday. I say "glossed over" because I did not focus on it, did not celebrate it, but rather just "let it happen". And then moved on. I believe Age is just a number. But I also notice at this age that I am doing a lot more thinking and analyzing of my future, my happiness, my "level of contentment". And I am doing more reading about relationships, marriages, how to keep it together, how to create that contented happiness that everyone craves. And not just in relationships. I am searching for that feeling of content in my work, in my home, in all aspects of my life... sort of a balance of contentedness.

I like to read posts by established authors. I also like the quirky, off-center personality of some writers. This guy, James Altucher, is one of those writers.  I found him a few months ago and I have read a LOT of his stuff since then.  Some of it I like, some of it I don't. I wanted to share one of his writings that I really, really like.

The Purpose of Marriage

In this blog post, he talks about his thoughts on the purpose of marriage. My favorite part of the blog is this:

“Marriage is a gift you give to your spouse. It’s a gift that says, ‘I have fully enjoyed our past together, I fully enjoy our present together, and now I want to devote the rest of my future to helping you achieve your goals, to being with you, to you being with me, and to taking care of you (or vice versa) when we are old and sick, as we will almost assuredly will be." 

If everyone could think that way and ACT that way... every day... just imagine how much nicer people would be to each other, how much more kind our interactions would be, how many more saved marriages! Instead, we get so caught up in the rush and flow of everyday life and responsibilities that we end up not "seeing" our partner/spouse anymore and we forget how special that person really is. We forget to admire and appreciate their "gift" to us.

I admit, in my one and only marriage, I was not a good wife. I was so busy trying to be ME, that I forgot to look at HIM. I forgot how to be the person he fell in love with, the person that loved him enough to get married in the first place. And eventually, I ended up losing the person that I had fallen in love with and in the process... lost myself.

In the past 5 years, I have come to know ME again. I understand my flaws and my weaknesses and I can admire my strengths and feel proud of my accomplishments. I have learned what I can and cannot accept in a relationship and what I really want to have in my life to be happy.

While I crave the feeling of being comfortable with another human being, of letting my guard down and attaining intimacy — I don’t want that to morph into complacency. When I say I crave being “content” I do not mean “settled”. Why would I ever want to settle for anything?

To me, love isn’t about settling; it’s about adventure. It’s about finding that person who has the guts and ambition to travel the world side by side with me. Just because you fall in love doesn’t mean the thrill and the endless wonder of the world has to stop. I don’t want every day to be exactly the same. I don’t want to have the same conversations over the same meal every single night for the rest of my life. 

I want a blazing passion that sparks a fire within me. I want to be with someone who makes my heart skip a beat and whose touch has the ability to light up my entire body and soul.

If (and hopefully WHEN) I get to that point in life where I am in a committed partnership that is moving towards a future together... I hope I can remember that life with them is a GIFT. And I hope that he, in return, will appreciate that gift and return it back just as much. Then I will have reached what we all strive for in life. My Happy Place.

Serendipity

I love the movie Serendipity. Part of what I love about it is the love story (obviously.. I AM a woman! LOL) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePU2Ux9JIMM

In this love story, 2 people meet and because of the locations in their lives, and the other people in their lives, they don't "get together".  So... their life circumstances kind of got in the way. They both even had partners at the time.Later on in the movie - 3 YEARS later, they are BOTH still thinking about the other one and they are drawn to each other... they just can't get over the feeling that they WANT to be with that person.

And so they find a way! They both end up going after each other, even though they live far apart... THAT is the kind of love I want. I want a man that will chase me down and profess his love for me! I want a man to travel around the WORLD just to show up at my door and tell me he can't live without me, that he can't stop thinking about me.. that he loves me, and ONLY me!

They say there is ONE person in this world that you are absolutely supposed to be with. I would want that person to chase me down and tell me I am HIS destiny! I would do that for the one I loved and I would expect nothing less! :-)

Life lessons aren't easy... but necessary for growth.

I think that sometimes you meet people to teach you a lesson about life or about yourself, to show you an area of your ‘self’ that still needs improvement.

I went through a rather difficult time in the past few months. Without going into too much detail, I met someone that became an instant friend, confident and an important part of my life. Everything was great, progressing forward and the future looked bright. But an old, buried insecurity from my younger days somehow clawed its way to the surface of wherever I had stuffed it years ago. It is true that you cannot just “bury” old pains, but you must work through and resolve them… many times throughout your lifetime, until the old pain is truly overcome. My independent, proud outer shell began to crack… and I didn’t notice right away. I have spent years learning to be a better version of myself, to create the type of ME that I really, truly want to be, but somehow I had not dealt with this little “bug” and it was burrowing its way under my skin and into my psyche in a very destructive manner.

Unfortunately for me (and others), I did not recognize the signs and looked for External causes for my discomfort. In doing so, I became irrational, paranoid, insecure and just downright NOT my true self. I felt like I was sliding into a deep hole and I had absolutely no control over it! It was very painful but yet provided me with a very important life lesson. I ended up pushing away this new friend of mine and alienating other possible friends in the process. 

And the worst part of the entire thing was I allowed this old buried “bug” to eat away at my self-confidence, my happiness, and my feelings of self-worth! I was miserable! I had anxiety, panic attacks, stomach aches, digestion upset, and lots and lots of crying! It felt like I was going crazy! Literally! I did not know the cause was internal. I did not recognize that it was an old injured part of my own SELF that was causing all this pain for me.  

It was too late to salvage the connection with this person that I had begun to feel was a very important part of my life and future. But it was NOT too late to figure out WHAT had happened and to learn from it. I feel better now, though not as strong and unbreakable as I felt 3 months ago! It is important to learn to recognize the signs of self-sabotage when the ‘ego’ is trying to break out and do its damage to the True Self. It took many, many years for me to learn to overcome the life patterns that I had developed as a child and young adult. Some of the destructive life patterns that I had used as a protection measure against the outside world, to protect the innocent self… were constricting and not conducive to a happy life!  Some of that learning is life-long, as I recently found out.

That old “bug” of insecurity is probably not all gone… but I recognize it now, and I am taking steps to deal with it and to learn from the past few months. Does this erase the pain I inadvertently caused myself over the past few weeks? No. Does it reverse the disappointment or dry the tears? No. But a lesson learned is an important step in building the kind of future that I want for myself. A happy, secure, stable and loving future where I feel like the best possible version of me. And THAT is a very good lesson!