Growing up or growing old:

When you are in elementary school, you can’t wait to be older, to be able to do things on your own and not have to ask permission for everything; not have to hold someone’s hand to cross the street, pour the milk without spilling it and getting yelled at, watch scary movies... 

Then, when you are a teen, you just KNOW that you are smarter then everyone else your age, and of course you are so much more knowledgeable about things then your mom and dad!  Teachers ask what career you are going to plan for; you start to date, to receive more freedom, to spread your wings.  But you still long to be older, to be 18 and an adult, to be 21 – the drinking age!  So much of your life is held out of arms reach because you are a teen, and have to grow up, and learn from the mistakes of your elders, and graduate and get a job… 

Once you graduate from high school, everyone looks at you and says, “So, what are you going to do with your life?”  And in amazement you realize that you are now that elusive thing called “adult” and now everyone expects you to act like one.  But the thing is, you are still not ready for being an adult. So you gallantly try to pretend; get an apartment, take a loan out for a car, sign up for college classes… Which, by the way, still makes you feel like a kid, because it feels like an extension of high school…

Then, if you are one of those lucky people that plans out their college education, and reach graduation, you get a job in your field of study, and you are officially a grown up!  Congratulations!  Now you get to do all the fun stuff!  Like get up at 6 a.m., 5 days a week, work to please another grown up, then use your pay checks to pay the bills, and everyday blends into the next, until one day, many years later, you wake up to realize that you have aged 10 years, and it feels just like yesterday that you were in college.  What happened to all those things you dreamed of doing?  All those wonderful plans you had?  Did the monotony of routine gradually dim the light of that burning desire to climb Mt. Everest?  Did the lack of sleep somehow erase those thoughts of writing that book?  Did the daily commute to work and back somehow drive down that dream of traveling to far off, exotic places?

I remember when I was 29, and I felt that turning 30 was a milestone, that it was an age that younger people thought of as old.  How could I, who still felt young at heart, who sang in the car with my kids, loved to walk in the rain, sleep in on weekends, read thick romance novels… How could I, be 30 and old?  But, after I turned 30, I didn’t feel any different.  I felt mature, responsible; I had a job, a car, a home… bills to pay, chores to do, kids to raise.  I was all grown up! 

Then, fast forward through the years to 40, and the aches and pains start to surface.  Things like running up and down the stairs, now make your heart beat faster and you wonder, how, just 5 short years ago, you felt so much younger!

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”

All three of my daughters are very creative. One can draw, one can sing, one can write... well, I think they ALL have the creative writing gene!

I have read many of their stories, enthralled and captivated that these words and ideas can come out of my little girls.  I proudly tell them that they are gifted and have great talent. But they don’t believe me. I can see it in their eyes, and in the fact that they don’t finish their stories.  My youngest, Jenna, has begun some amazing novels; Fiction about fantasy, with elves, werewolves, shape shifters and vampires. The stories that she writes draw you in and make you want to continue reading. But she does not have the confidence to believe in herself and she doesn’t finish them.

I sometimes feel that this is my fault. If we, as adults, are supposed to lead by example, then I have not been a very good one. I begin many things that I do not finish; I went back to college but did not complete a degree. I started a webdesign business but I did not grow it into a real business. I begin relationships or friendships and then do not put the effort into them to keep the flourishing. How can I ask them to have faith in themselves when they surely see that I do not have faith in MY self?

I too, have had dreams of writing. There were many stories that I began but never finished. I have had many creative ideas that I did not follow through to fruition. Are my wonderfully talented daughters doomed to a life of unfinished stories, strong starts but weak endings?

My wish for this year is to change that. I want to teach by example. I want to be a role model for my girls, someone they can be proud of. And it is never too late to improve on your “self” and create a better future. As the saying goes, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”

Learn to view your difficulties as postive learning experiences.

During challenging times many people look for and focus on what is wrong. Not only is this perspective harmful because it doesn't bring about any solutions or relief, but it is also the very thing that ensures the continuation of the crisis itself.

It all comes down to choice - your choice of how you will react to and view your situation. You must learn to react outside of your automatic default responses to crisis and to engage all of your creative faculties, problem-solving skills and coping abilities.

Instead of wishing that your circumstance were different, use them as a cue that you are being challenged to find new resources within yourself.

When things fall apart, then something isn't working. It indicates that the structure wasn't sustainable, so it broke.

Think of some times in your past where things have not gone as you wanted them to. Maybe a lost job, or a broken relationship. What positive things happened after that loss that would not have happened if that loss had not occurred? Try to learn from these situations so that when you experience a stressful and challenging time in your life, you can view it as a learning experience and try not to fall apart. :)

Perfect Health

I began the first day of the 21 day mediation challenge with Oprah and Deepak. What a fantastic feeling! A great way to start the day. I will be doing my best to concentrate on my centering thought.

I commit to living perfect health!

Have a great Monday, everyone!

Click here to join the Challenge!