Growing up or growing old:

When you are in elementary school, you can’t wait to be older, to be able to do things on your own and not have to ask permission for everything; not have to hold someone’s hand to cross the street, pour the milk without spilling it and getting yelled at, watch scary movies... 

Then, when you are a teen, you just KNOW that you are smarter then everyone else your age, and of course you are so much more knowledgeable about things then your mom and dad!  Teachers ask what career you are going to plan for; you start to date, to receive more freedom, to spread your wings.  But you still long to be older, to be 18 and an adult, to be 21 – the drinking age!  So much of your life is held out of arms reach because you are a teen, and have to grow up, and learn from the mistakes of your elders, and graduate and get a job… 

Once you graduate from high school, everyone looks at you and says, “So, what are you going to do with your life?”  And in amazement you realize that you are now that elusive thing called “adult” and now everyone expects you to act like one.  But the thing is, you are still not ready for being an adult. So you gallantly try to pretend; get an apartment, take a loan out for a car, sign up for college classes… Which, by the way, still makes you feel like a kid, because it feels like an extension of high school…

Then, if you are one of those lucky people that plans out their college education, and reach graduation, you get a job in your field of study, and you are officially a grown up!  Congratulations!  Now you get to do all the fun stuff!  Like get up at 6 a.m., 5 days a week, work to please another grown up, then use your pay checks to pay the bills, and everyday blends into the next, until one day, many years later, you wake up to realize that you have aged 10 years, and it feels just like yesterday that you were in college.  What happened to all those things you dreamed of doing?  All those wonderful plans you had?  Did the monotony of routine gradually dim the light of that burning desire to climb Mt. Everest?  Did the lack of sleep somehow erase those thoughts of writing that book?  Did the daily commute to work and back somehow drive down that dream of traveling to far off, exotic places?

I remember when I was 29, and I felt that turning 30 was a milestone, that it was an age that younger people thought of as old.  How could I, who still felt young at heart, who sang in the car with my kids, loved to walk in the rain, sleep in on weekends, read thick romance novels… How could I, be 30 and old?  But, after I turned 30, I didn’t feel any different.  I felt mature, responsible; I had a job, a car, a home… bills to pay, chores to do, kids to raise.  I was all grown up! 

Then, fast forward through the years to 40, and the aches and pains start to surface.  Things like running up and down the stairs, now make your heart beat faster and you wonder, how, just 5 short years ago, you felt so much younger!