My lighthouse epiphany

I have this pencil sketch of a lighthouse that I drew. I did a good job on it and I framed it and it hangs on my living room wall.

It was late on a Saturday night and I was sitting alone on my living room couch and doing some deep thinking. And it occurred to me that what I am looking for is my "own" lighthouse; A place in the storm of life that can “call me home”, or warn me of danger... a light in the dark to guide me. But, I keep looking to others to find this light house. I look to friends, boyfriends, family... I read self-help books to try and find the answers to life's questions. Sometimes, I feel at peace, thinking that maybe I have found an understanding... a knowing… that will help me through life. I get a renewed vigor when these small "epiphanies" happen.  I call these my "Spaces In Between". They are the "spaces" of clarity in my life mixed “in between” all the rest of life.

And then I wake up and the Real World is knocking at my door and I once again get lost in the storm.  As I was sitting here, feeling sorry for myself for sitting alone and thinking of all my troubles… it occurred to me that maybe I have been looking for the wrong kind of lighthouse. I have been looking “outside” myself for others to be my lighthouse when maybe I need to be looking inward. Maybe the lighthouse that I needed was here along and I need to look inside myself to find it; To rely on my “Self” for guidance, for the light in the dark to guide me.

Life, it seems, is made up of Spaces In Between. And when I am alone, when I am reaching for some clarity inside myself, I am reaching towards that Lighthouse. Today’s epiphany may not solve all of life’s problems. Life is a journey and there will be many, many storms and plenty more calm waters. But from this point forward, I will look to my Lighthouse to find guidance and stop waiting or wishing for others to find it for me.

~ Don't Quit ~

When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road your trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but instead you sigh
When worry is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is weird with its twists and its turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns
And many a failure turns about
When you might have won, had you stuck it out
But, don't give up, though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another go.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver lining of a cloud of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

~ Author Unknown ~