The past is just that... past. But sometimes, revisiting some of those lessons refreshes in our minds that we have overcome things, that we have learned life lessons, and that we should pay attention to our PRESENT so that we do not keep repeating those lessons.
Following is a poem I wrote 10 years ago. I was divorced, pretending that life was great and that the future was bright. I was sleep-walking through my days, trying to remain busy, trying to convince myself that the decision to end my marriage was a good one. In the end, the loss was a lot greater than even I knew at the time. I did not mourn the end of that time until over 1 year later. Then, it just seemed to hit me out of the blue. It took a few days for me to even realize WHY I was so sad.
My Eyes Are Clear At Last
Sadness hides behind clouded eyes
your smile, like plaster, placates
One small thing, like a switch
and the dam threatens to break.
Tears well, I hold them back
I will not cry, I will not slip
Like a giant fist around my chest
The sadness takes a grip.
I begin to feel real panic
and yet, can't stop the flow of tears
I fight the torrent that threatens
That's been held inside for years.
I can't hold it any longer
This sadness in my heart
Deep breaths, tears fall,
a scream erupts as lips part.
I feel like someone died
and my pain needs to escape
I cry alone, my pain unheard
And then begins to fade.
Like hot air from a balloon, released
I let the torrent pass
My sadness has gone back behind
my eyes are clear at last.
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